Without knowing what the Year of the Horse symbolized, I had already started the year by taking the bold, decisive action to further my independence as a woman — by freezing my eggs. How coincidental.

Fertility preservation — whether it’s egg or embryo freezing — is something very few discuss, many do, and even more are curious about (men included). I realized this when I began egg freezing at the start of this year. I decided to share my experience on Instagram stories as it was happening, and planned to write about it retrospectively on Substack. I was surprised by the number of people who reached out, whether it was to share their own experience, learn more, or congratulate me because they, too, were planning to get it done. So clearly, we need to talk about this more.

For readers who don’t know me: I’m 31, a tech worker, married, and want to have kids eventually. I fit the stereotype of the kind of woman who does fertility preservation. It’s expensive for most people, and I know I’m lucky to be working at a company that covers most of the costs. If you can afford it and know you might want to have kids in the future, I wholeheartedly recommend investing in yourself this way. I’m going to be pretty transparent here because I know too many women who write off fertility preservation with the following generalizations:

• “It’s a lot on your body”

• “You’ll be suffering for weeks”

• “I’d need to take time off of work to do such a major procedure”

Having done it once (specifically, egg freezing), I’d do it again, and I’m so happy that I did it. I’ll caveat that what I’m sharing is my own personal experience and I’m not going to insert some ChatGPT generated stats or medical facts to sound credible. Take what you will out of this read ;)

Why, and why now?

• Endometriosis - I have endometriosis, which can make it difficult to naturally conceive. While I haven’t actually tested my limits there and personally know multiple women with endometriosis who’ve naturally conceived, I want to be prepared for IVF, should I ever need it.

• 80% cost coverage - Stripe has, for as long as I can remember, covered up to 80% of fertility preservation costs, up to a certain lifetime maximum value. It would be a waste to not use this benefit, IMO.

• Modern day insurance - I chose freezing eggs over embryos, even though I’ve been married for several years. The more you do to minimize the weight of the “biological clock”, the better relationship decisions you’ll make for yourself (and frankly, your partner too). This applies for entering a marriage, staying in a marriage, and leaving a marriage. Being in a long-term relationship is a daily choice. That choice should be isolated as much as possible from financial dependencies, a ticking biological clock, or anything else clouding your decision to genuinely want to be with your partner. When I spoke to my husband about this decision and rationale, he understood and was supportive.

• I’m still young - egg quality diminishes over time, so fertility preservation yields better results (more mature eggs) at a younger age. Yes, 31 is still young, but in hindsight I wish I did this process earlier since I could have taken advantage of Stripe’s employee benefit as early as ~7 years ago.

• I now have the time - I spent the last 5.5 years traveling throughout the US and globally, with no permanent home to my name. That meant hardly any time for doctor visits. At the start of this year I finally concluded the nomad era, and now I’m firmly based in NYC, with a calendar now oversubscribed with medical appointments. It feels good to be back.

Who did I choose?

I went with Spring Fertility, specifically Dr Klatsky (co-founder) for egg freezing. Spring was recommended by several of my colleagues and known for their white-glove, concierge-like experience and smaller operations (relative to older institutions like Weill Cornell and NYU Langone Fertility). They’re newer and have a shorter track record to point to (e.g. the funnel from eggs/embryos frozen to real babies) but their track record is significantly higher than the national average.

Interestingly, I went to Spring Fertility for a consult two years earlier but didn’t trust the doctor; the consult felt too pushy, so I put fertility preservation on hold. I gave them a second chance after hearing glowing reviews of Dr Klatsky from women I trust, despite him being a he! I ended up not shopping around with other clinics since I felt confident in Dr Klatsky and Spring’s fees were reasonable. Most clinics charge consult fees ($300-$500 range) so I felt it’d be a waste to shop around if I already felt sure of my first choice.

My fertility profile

Note: the 3 key inputs for fertility health are age, AMH level, and egg count. These inputs combined help doctors predict how many mature eggs they can freeze.

• 31 years old

• AMH level 1.7 (avg, but on the lower end of avg). It was 2.4 back in 2024.

• Egg count at time of consult was 10. It was 11 back in 2024. This is a negligible change since egg count constantly fluctuates. An egg count of 10-11 for both ovaries is considered “a little low”.

What’s the process like?

Overall the procedure consists of an initial consult, up to ~2 weeks of daily hormonal shots to stimulate egg growth (multiple per day), some check-in appointments during those 2 weeks to track egg growth, a specific day of shots where you “trigger” ovulation, followed by the actual egg retrieval surgery (30 min, under anesthesia) and recovery (time varies, mine was short).

1. Initial consult where we cover goals (how many kids, etc), complete a transvaginal ultrasound and bloodwork to get baseline metrics (AMH, egg count), understand the process, and explore options (eggs vs embryo, medication options, etc.). Based on my profile, my doctor predicted an egg retrieval of 8-12 eggs, which at the top end would give me a 88% chance of successfully conceiving 1 child (see calculator). This felt promising. My preservation goal was to have enough eggs set aside for 1 child as a safety net (although my family goal is to have 2 kids). I was given different timelines for starting/ending the procedure and ultimately went with the next available cycle, so I started 1 week after initial consult.

2. Baseline check-in happens on the morning of day 1 of shots so that the doctor knows your baseline egg count and can monitor egg growth over the next ~2 weeks. Sadly my egg count was 7 even though it was at 10 a few days before, during my initial consult. The doctor assured me that this was a trivial difference and I was still in a good place to start meds.

3. Shots and check-ins happen for the next ~2 weeks (it was 2 weeks exact for me). The # of days of shots varies based on how your body is reacting to the hormones, so you need to be in the mindset to take each day as it comes. I had a check in every ~3 days, though I heard others had more frequent checkins. These checkins always include a transvaginal ultrasound, and sometimes included bloodwork. For the first week I had 2x shots nightly (back to back) and by the second week I had 3x shots (1x in the AM, 2x in the PM).

4. Trigger shot occurs closer to the end of two weeks, after a check in is scheduled. A nurse called me that day with instructions to use the trigger shot medications at a very specific time, and a date/time for my egg retrieval (typically after 34-36 hrs from trigger shot). It is critical to complete the shots at that time since these shots trigger ovulation, which should in theory happen after the egg retrieval is done. If you ovulate before egg retrieval, then you lose your mature eggs since they’re released from your ovaries and make their way into your fallopian tube where they cannot be surgically retrieved. All those shots for nothing :/

5. Egg retrieval was scheduled on Day 14. I was advised to take the day off even though the procedure itself takes less than 30 minutes and you’re under anesthesia for it (best nap ever!). I arrived at the clinic ~1.5 hrs before the procedure time for pre-op where I measured vitals, had an IV drip for hydration, and was eventually escorted into the surgery room for anesthesia and the retrieval. I woke up in the post-op room and was told how many eggs were retrieved and shortly discharged. I took pain meds proactively to minimize cramping and I felt fine enough to take the subway back home. A few hours later, the nurse called to share the final results of how many eggs were frozen since there is a drop-off between eggs retrieved and eggs successfully frozen.

6. Recovery varies for people and I was told that cramping would peak in the next 3-4 days. I was also advised not to work out heavily (not even yoga) for the next two weeks and abstain from sex for the next 10 days (to avoid ovary torsion). I was lucky enough to not have complications or side effects from the surgery and didn’t experience cramping.

Medications

My medications consisted of:

• Gonal F - follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) to increase egg growth

• Menopur - FSH and LH to increase egg growth and estrogen production

• Cetrotide - prevents early ovulation

• Trigger shots - two kinds of shots to trigger ovulation

I shared my daily medication schedule below:

Where to buy: I purchased my medications via Alto Pharmacy (recommended by my benefits provider) and did not shop around to optimize meds costs. The meds are nearly as expensive as the procedure itself, so I recommend ordering them 1-2 days max before you need them to minimize waste. In total I placed 5 pharmacy orders during this time and only ended up with $200 worth of excess meds.

Symptoms

Not everyone will feel exactly the same, but here’s what I experienced…

Pain from injections - I was warned ahead of time that the menopur shot burns while it’s being injected in you. This is true, but it’s not as bad as I made it out to be. To minimize the pain, I iced my underbelly (where you inject the shots) and sprayed maximum strength lidocaine prior to injecting. I also found it more comfortable to inject myself slowly vs having my husband do my shots. This way I was able to feel the burn, take pauses, and then resume again when I was ready. Surprisingly, the Gonal F shot sometimes also hurt but this was less frequent. The Cetrotide and trigger shots were the best in that it just felt like you were poking yourself with a needle.

Bloating - Others advised that the first few days would feel like nothing and I’d feel heavier as my eggs grew. I hardly felt any bloating up until the second to last day. My hypothesis is that my egg count was relatively low even with the shots (towards the end it peaked at ~20-22 eggs) and this is equivalent to what someone with a higher egg count carries in a regular cycle anyways. I did feel some noticeable bloating after my trigger shots, however.

Exhaustion - I definitely felt more tired towards the last few days but it wasn’t much different than being down with a slight cold.

Nausea & dizziness - the one time I felt severe nausea and dizziness was right after the trigger shot. The trigger shots force a massive hormonal surge, shocking your body. I wasn’t mentally prepared to feel this which did cause me to panic a bit, but I ended up soothing myself with electrolytes, sniffing citrus, and forcing some sleep.

Moodswings - with an increase in estrogen production, I anticipated feeling more “emotional” but I had the opposite effect actually. More estrogen made me feel calmer and steady, which surprised the shit out of me considering a number of personal events had unraveled over the course of those two weeks. If I was ever going to have a crash out, then would have been the time. My doctor explained that the calming effect made total sense since estrogen increases serotonin (the happy hormone). He did warn of an estrogen come-down post procedure, but I don’t think I felt this either.

Cramping - Unfortunately I felt severe cramping on the day of my egg retrieval (akin to what I normally felt having endometriosis). It had started on my commute to the clinic and continued through pre-op. It turned out that I had started ovulating earlier than expected and my cramping was indicative of that. Once the retrieval was over, the cramping did not return and I had taken pain meds proactively to make sure of it. The following days post procedure I did not need pain meds at all, lucky me!

The costs

In total, my costs (excluding benefit) were:

• Egg freezing procedure - $9,280

• Meds - $8,637

• Storage fees (annual) - $1,250

Since 80% of my costs were covered by my benefit, I will end up paying $3,442 out of pocket. Note that you’re expected to pay up front and then get reimbursed, so I recommend using this as an opportunity to open a credit card with a shiny welcome offer that you can instantly hit with this spend.

Note that embryo freezing comes with higher costs and I believe my employee benefit also unlocked more discounts with the clinic and pharmacy.

Results & takeaways

1. Ultimately I ended up successfully freezing 7 mature eggs, which was less than what my doctor and I expected. Since I started ovulating prematurely ahead of my retrieval, I lost >50% of my egg reserve in a matter of hours. On my last check in prior to my procedure, I had at least 22 identifiable eggs, so my doctor was expecting to retrieve ~20 eggs. Because I was reacting so well to the medication, he expected to freeze 14-15 mature eggs which would have afforded me a 93% chance for 1 child and a 73% chance for 2 children using those eggs (vs 71% for 1 child and 32% chance for 2 children).

I did not have the indicators of someone who would ovulate early (e.g. diminished ovarian reserve) so this was a surprise to my doctor and could not have been caught earlier.

2. Even though I did not get the results I wanted, my experience was positive enough that I would do this over again. I now have the insights to do a second round with ~hopefully~ more successful results by timing an earlier retrieval. Though I’m not scheduling this anytime soon. Considering why I did this in the first place — having a safety net for physical and psychological reasons — I achieved enough to not feel the urgency to do it twice. My doctor also advised that since I did this so early, I could probably wait up to two more years for a second round to get similar results.

3. I went from being terrified of shots to comfortably injecting myself 3x/daily. Believe me, I was the girl who would wear noise canceling headphones, close her eyes, and count backwards every time I needed to get blood drawn. My husband did my shots for the first 2 nights but then I found the courage to do it myself, and I was glad I took that on for myself. Injecting myself gave me a sense of control (I could go as slow or fast as I want) and a sense of pride (I can’t believe I’m doing this, look at me!).

4. I’m so glad I documented this. Even if you won’t post this on social, take photos and videos and save ultrasound progress reports for your own recollection. I went from 7 eggs to 10 to 17 to 22 by the time I was ready for my trigger shot. This experience has left me in awe of what we’re capable of. While my shot marks are already fading, I have dozens of photos and videos that capture the endurance it took for me (and for so many other women) to give ourselves a little more independence and a whole lot more peace of mind.

All that to say: the Year of the Horse feels especially fitting for my 2026. Bold, uncomfortable, a little wild… and completely worth it.

I didn’t think I’d go to Lisbon 3x and spend over a month in total there, but here we are! It’s up there on the top European cities list for me, for many reasons:

• Amazing food scene — especially coffee and brunch!

• The weather!!!! Even when I went in February it was very enjoyable.

• Very easy to travel as a tourist/digital nomad: no need to know a single word of Portuguese, transit is easy, and it attracts quite the “digital nomad” crowd with its many long stay housing options and vibrant co-working friendly cafes.

• It’s relatively affordable. Emphasis on relative — I am comparing it to the likes of London, etc.

• There’s a lot to explore both within Lisbon and its many neighborhoods, and neighboring Sintra and Cascais. Sintra especially was an architectural gem.

Where to stay

Neigbhorhood wise, I recommend staying in Chiado. This is where you will find plenty of digital nomads, trendy restaurants, and airbnb options.

The first time I stayed in Lisbon I was a broke college student living in an airbnb by the famous Tram 28 in Lisbon — I would not recommend since this is where all the tacky tourists on a tight budget live (sorry, not sorry).

The second time I split my stay between The Hilton Curio Emerald House and an apartment by Cais do Sodre (Timeout market) that I found via a local airbnb competitor.

The third time I stayed in an apartment also in Chiado via an airbnb host that I booked off-platform.

I really enjoyed my stays in the apartments I booked. The Hilton at the time was brand new and very affordable. It’s a very nice hotel but too much of a walk out from the main sites I frequented. Since I’m now a Hyatt girlie, the next time I’ll definitely spend a few nights in the Hyatt Regency Lisbon (also a little out of the way but is supposedly a great hotel).

Local off-airbnb listings for apartments:

I had used these sites to book directly for a better deal.

• Feels like home listings

• Second house apartments (for some reason this site is now password protected)

Other airbnb listings: I did not stay in these listings but I had saved them since they were good enough for me: Option 1, Option 2, Option 3, Option 4, Option 5.

Other solid neighborhoods: Campo de Ourique - more residential and local, reminds me of Fort Greene. Principe Real - more bougie.

Where to eat

Cafe & brunch spots

OK if you’re going to Lisbon be prepared for an insanely good brunch and cafe scene. I even have a separate Gmaps list just for coffee/brunch. Out of that list, here are my top choices:

• Comoba - lattes, matcha, juices are great as well as the brunch & lunch food (I had some of the best fish tacos in my life there).

• Dear Breakfast - there are multiple locations but the Alfama spot is the vibiest. Get the turkish breakfast there.

• Seagull method cafe - the most unique and tastiest brunch menu.

• Heim - come here for the 3 cheese grilled cheese sandwich which is so decadent.

• For coffee specifically, my husband (who is a coffee fiend) loved The Coffee and Fabrica Coffee Roasters (both have multiple locations).

Lunch/dinner

I surprisingly don’t remember going to many Portuguese restaurants — I’ve definitely ate portoguese food in my time in Lisbon but nothing stood out. But let me tell you about the spots that were memorable:

• Soi - asian fusion and they have a great happy hour with baos

• A Cevicheria - famous ceviche spot that is pretty good (a tad pricey) with a cool vibe

• Vesuviano - italian, great pastas

• Yak & Yeti - nepalese

• Aura Dim Sum Lab - chinese

• Linha da Agua - this isn’t the best spot for food but it’s in the central park of Lisbon and is a casual cafe where you can get freshly made lunch food and sit by the fountain. It’s very calming to eat here.

• Finally, sushi in Lisbon is surprisingly great. The omakase spot I went to is now shut down but I’d give sushi a try there. Avoid the Time Out market, but if you’re going to go eat there once anyways, the sushi is probably the best stall.

Dessert

Natas: You will eat Natas in Lisbon, and likely you will try Manteigaria, Fabrica da Natas, Castro, and Pasteis de Belem. Out of those my personal favorite is Castro though they’re also the priciest.

For amazing chocolate cake, go to Landeau Chocolate.

Things to do

• Hike up and down the miradouros. Lisbon is a hilly city and miradouros are view points with scenic overviews into the city. I took the tram up to Alfama (hilly neighborhood) and then walked up and down to some miradouros from there.

• Day trip to Sintra. Sintra is neighboring town rich in history and palaces. It’s uniquely beautiful so I would strongly recommend saving a full day for Sintra. Out of the top landmarks, my favorite two are Pena Palace and Quinta da Regaleira. I enjoyed the Moorish Castle too but I’m scared of heights and a big part of the experience is walking through a narrow and high walkway.

  • How to get there: Either take the train (30 min, around 7 euro per way) or take an uber or bolt (~30 euro per way, about the same time). If you’re taking the train, you’ll need to uber up to the sites in Sintra. Make sure to leave ample time when you’re ubering back from the sites since the roads up are very congested and it can take ~10-12 min to get a car back down.

  • Skip the food in Sintra or pack food from Lisbon. It’s pretty much a food desert and available places are tourist traps.

• 1/2 day trip to Cascais. Cascais is another neighboring beach town that is very easy to get to and has a cute shopping district and tons of oceanside restaurants.

• Venture out in Belem. Belem is on the east side of Lisbon and has many of the top tourist attractions like Belem Tower and Pasteis De Belem.

• Scooter around. Take a Bolt scooter and ride through Parque Eduardo VII (the central park) or through the southwest part of Lisbon that looks exactly like SF (around the MACAM museum, by the waterside). And yes, there is a part of Lisbon that has a golden gate bridge dupe and tons of people scootering around as if you were in SF.

• Shop. There are some trendy shops in Lisbon. The most memorable for me were Jak (common project dupes), A Vida Portugeusa (for cute gifts), and Granado (a local perfume shop where they engrave the bottles!)

• Get a massage. OK, this isn’t something unique to Lisbon but when I do go to a relatively affordable city, I also check out the massage parlor scene. I went to Siam Thai Massage and it was pretty good.

• Go to Preco or Minipreco for fresh squeezed OJ. This sounds so lame but yes, do go to your local supermarket and there will likely be a fresh OJ machine where you can buy a bottle of OJ for 1 euro. Such a treat compared to the shit we have in the US.

If you found this guide helpful and would like more recs, save my Gmap list for Lisbon (disclaimer: I haven’t been to all saved spots)!

It’s 3 am, I’m wide awake after flying from LDN to SF yesterday, and I finally mustered the will to write my travel recs for Japan. Writing about travel while getting through travel might just be a trend for me. After first visiting Japan in 2015, I spent nearly all of last December there, and within days of arriving I was fondly reminded of why it was in “my top countries to visit” list after all these years.

My first trip in Japan was nothing like my last trip. I went with a college class with little money to spend during a time when the Yen was strong, and the itinerary was mostly set by my Professor. We had spent a week between Tokyo and Kyoto, stayed at a modest Ryokan (traditional inn) and even slept a night in a capsule hotel in Kyoto. This time I certainly had more money to spend (mid tech career and a weak Yen!), was in full control of my itinerary, had much more time to leisure (I was on a strict PTO schedule, ha!). I also had become quite the tastemaker over the years.

Before jumping into the itinerary, I will caution that my approach to traveling in Japan might be different from yours: I didn’t go to a fancy omakase spot (but was hooked on affordable standing sushi bars), I stayed exclusively in Hyatts (globalist girlie), and I wasn’t trying to travel within Japan as much as I could have (this trip was off the back of 2 weeks in Singapore and China). So yes, this is the Nth Japan Travel guide you probably didn’t need but if you trust my taste in travel then read on ;)

Where to go, for how long, and where to stay

Dates of travel: Dec 7 - Dec 28 (21 days).

Route:

• Tokyo (3 nights) → single bullet train to Kanazawa (~3 hrs)

• Kanazawa (3 nights) + day trip to Shirakawago (<1.5 hrs bus ride from Kanazawa) → single bullet train to Osaka (~2 hrs)

• Osaka (2 nights) → single bullet train to Kyoto (~1 hr)

• Kyoto (5 nights) + day trip to Nara (~45 min local train) → single bullet train back to Tokyo (~3 hrs)

• Tokyo (8 nights) → fly back to JFK

Reflections on the route + edits I would have made:

• If you’re staying as long as I did, I did enjoy splitting the time in Tokyo. First few days were to get acclimated and hit some main tourist destinations (go easy on the temples, there are a bunch in Kyoto). I saved shopping for when I got back to Tokyo so I didn’t have to lug around extra bags.

• Kanazawa is definitely a summer town. It was cold and wet and a bit of a ghost town in December. I only chose to go here as a base for day trips to Japan’s Gifu District (like Shirakawago or Takayama) since it is an easy travel hub and is not too out of the way from Kyoto/Osaka. In hindsight I would shorten this to 2 nights and maximize time spent outside of Kanazawa (e.g. day trips). Fortunately, the Hyatt Centric that we stayed at was super cheap (<$100 a night), really nice for the cost, and conveniently next to the train station.

• I wouldn’t spend more than 2 nights in Osaka - it’s like Tokyo but smaller, less to see, and not as nice to walk through. In fact, skip it if you’re tight on time.

• It was very easy to spend 5 nights in Kyoto, but chances are you won’t have as much time to spend so I recommend 3 nights minimum. Kyoto is much more laid back, and has a great balance between historic sites + temples and small city life + cafes and shops.

• On the way back to Tokyo, I would definitely add a stop closer to Mt Fuji, like an onsen town such as Hakone. We skipped this because my husband had a “mental limit” on how many stops we made in this trip, but if it was just me I would have stopped over for 1 night.

• Like I said, I spent all of my hotel nights with Hyatt. This was intentional: I have Globalist status which gets me suite upgrades, late checkout, and free breakfast, and I had hoarded 200k+ Hyatt points to intentionally spend on Japan hotel stays. If you’re NOT in this situation, then skip my hotel recs since there are definitely more cost effective and/or traditional hotel experiences.

Tokyo

I spent the bulk of my stay here (12 days) and stayed between Toranomon Hills and Shibuya — both very different neighborhoods. Toranomon Hills is in an upscale and more residential/sleepy neighborhood, tucked below Ginza (the 5th ave of Tokyo). I stayed between Hotel Toranomon Hills and Andaz Tokyo, both luxury hotels, though I preferred the former slightly more (recently opened with more modern aesthetic, and breakfast was better). In Shibuya I stayed at the Hyatt House Shibuya which is almost always booked out because it has incredibly good points/dollar value, is nothing like Hyatt Houses in the states (it’s super lux, staff are amazing, and even has a pool), and is in the center of Tokyo. While Shibuya was easier to commute from, I would recommend staying in a more quiet, upscale neighborhood like Toranomon Hills, Azabudai, or Minato City.

Kanazawa

Not much to say here except that the Hyatt Centric is great value, and don’t bother coming here in winter if you’re not going to daytrip over to Shirakawago or Takayama (1 hr further east from Shirawakago via bus).

Shirakwago

This is a historic village town famous for their thatched roof farmhouses and is a UNESCO world heritage site. It’s popular in winter because it snows frequently, making it look like a winter wonderland. This town won’t come up in your standard Japan travel guides but this was my favorite part of the trip. Even the bus route from Kanazawa to Shirakawago (<1.5 hrs) passes stunning lakes and valleys. It is a small village so if you’re efficient, you would need max 2.5 hrs, but for a leisurely stroll and lunch there, I would recommend max 4 hrs. If you’re traveling here, I recommend securing bus tickets the day before since the earlier buses sell out day of, and I would recommend buying a roundtrip so you’re guaranteed a seat on a bus back.

I didn’t get to go to Takayama since I didn’t plan this part of the trip as well but most people do Shirakawago + Takayama in a single day trip since they’re approx 1 hr apart from each other, and the same bus you take to Shirakawago goes further along to Takayama.

Osaka

Again not much to say here except that Osaka generally reminds me of Times Square. And, that the Hyatt Caption Osaka is great value, central, and a newly renovated hotel. FWIW, I didn’t go to Nintendo World (not a huge fan of amusement parks) so I might have missed out on that.

Kyoto

How I wish I had planned ahead enough to score a points booking at the Park Hyatt Kyoto :( That being said, Hyatt Place Kyoto was also great value, conveniently next to the subway station, and in a more residential but upscale neighborhood, far from the tourists loitering Kyoto Old Town. I would definitely stay here again.

I did not temple-out in Kyoto. You could, but after seeing some temples in China and Tokyo right before getting to Kyoto, you do start thinking “a temple is a temple is a temple”. Instead, I probably hit up 3-4 major temples (e.g. Fushimi Inari) while doing other things like checking out Arashiyama and having a kimono photoshoot.

Nara

Nara is certainly cute and worth visiting to interact with the deers, but you don’t need a whole day there. I would go in the AM while it’s not so crowded, and head out noon/early afternoon. I don’t think it’s known for its food scene so I’d eat a full meal somewhere else and just munch on some mochis from Nakatanidou.

Major highlights + things to do

OK so I’m going to skip the tourist destinations like Tsukiji Fish Market, Tokyo Palace, etc only because you’re probably going to do these things anyways.

• Team Labs, Tokyo - I enjoyed Team Labs Planets much more than Team Labs Borderless. It was easy to book tickets in December.

• Owl Cafe, Tokyo - this was harder to book but fortunately I found a slot for myself. It’s super unique and a great phot-op but I wouldn’t go if you get anxious around birds/animals. You get a 1 hr booking and can choose 1-2 owls to hang out with, where they perch the owl on your arm. The owl can at any time start flying around or go on your head. The staff are pretty nonchalant about this. I would probably also go to a capybara cafe (I didn’t go this time) but I’d skip cat cafes since you can find those anywhere else.

• Kyoto Kimono Photoshoot - I booked a 2-3 hr photoshoot experience on Airbnb that includes a kimono rental and you get to wear your Kimono for the rest of the day (should you wish) until the shop closes. My booking was made with “Lin” as the Airbnb host and I rate it highly. It costed under $100 for the experience so it was very much worth it IMO. Funnily enough, the same day I bumped into a local photographer who connected with me on social media and we decided to do a (free) half-day photoshoot in Fushimi Inari and other temples.

• Scalp Spa, Tokyo - Ah yes I did go for the tik-tok viral scalp spa experience in Tokyo and it lived up to the hype :) I went to Ritt’s Spa in Shibuya after being able to snag a same day res. I think it was ~$75-$80 and my head came out feeling super clean. Ritt’s is not as grandiose as some of the other viral spas like Rabbicour Ginza (alice in wonderland themed) but it seems like you get the same service without all of the frills. So if you’re value oriented, I recommend Ritt’s.

• Full body scan at Tokyo Midtown Clinic - OK so I didn’t actually do this but my husband did. This is medical tourism at its finest, but in hindsight I do wish I did a full body and health assessment in Japan. Japan is known for their “ningen dock” comprehensive health check where they do a number of tests like MRI, blood sample, stool sample, etc and send you an English-translated report of your health. This costed $1,300 but can vary depending on what tests you add/omit. My husband went to the Tokyo Midtown Clinic in Minato City but fair warning that he did have a hard time getting a booking and had to book significantly in advance. They don’t seem to like that tourists are paying for these services so they try to make it hard to book and prefer locals.

• Natural spring onsen - while I didn’t get a chance to go to an onsen town like Hakone, I did get to go to a natural spring onsen during my time in Kyoto. I went to Fu Fu No Yo Onsen in Arashiyama, which is also home to the Monkey Park and Bamboo Grove. This was perfect for the Japan winter and a much needed self-care day.

Top food recs

Japan has too many food recs and you will probably not go wrong with eating your way through Japan. Here’s what still resonates with me months after this trip, and are IMO, must eats:

• Standing Sushi Bar @ Nemuro Hanamaru Ginza - this standing sushi bar is the reason why I felt like I didn’t need to go to a fancy omakase dinner during my in Japan. Transparently, I probably should have just done an omakase dinner for the experience, but I was overwhelmed with all the options and had some decision paralysis with booking. We went to this standing sushi bar at least 3x during our trip. It’s tucked in a mall in Ginza, oftentimes has a line full of locals (and some tourists), and is the perfect combination of fresh seafood, large portions, amazing value, and efficient service. You must go.

• Gyuan Ginza - this is a local’s joint where you can get delicious and reasonably valued Kobe steak, in a traditional Japanese inn setting. The food was simple and fresh.

• Matcha Tokyo - we had matcha in many spots in Tokyo but Matcha Tokyo (specifically the Ometsando location) hits #1. We even bought back matcha from this store because it’s so damn good.

• Wasachi, matcha cafe - this was a very zen, intimate matcha cafe that the owner runs. You can tell he’s passionate about matcha and it feels like you’re in someone’s home.

• I’m Donut - there are very few food spots worth lining up for and I ended up lining up here twice. It was that worth it. The best donuts I’ve had in my life. Luckily they just opened up a location in Times Square but I’m sure there’s something special about eating them while you’re in Japan. Multiple locations!

• Higuma Donut - also another Ometsando hit, this spot feels very zen and they make delicious simple donuts along with soft serve and coffees.

• Mitsukoshi Ginza - OK I wish I found this major food hall in an iconic dept store sooner. The basement floor is overwhelmingly full of dozens of food stalls, from tempura stations to noodle statons, to onigiri and tons of sweet options too. You can buy small units of food at each stall so I ended up buying a little bit of food from 5-6 stalls to make up a full lunch.

• Duck ramen specialty, Osaka + Tokyo - Ramen Kamo to Negi has a few spots but I went to the Osaka location. It was also a very locals-filled establishment and insanely good. Duck is my favorite meat so if you love duck, this is a must have.

• Savoy Azabujuban Pizza - before I got to Japan, friends who had visited kept saying that pizza in Japan is surprisingly good. Savoy came highly recommended, so while there was a line (since I did not make a res, don’t be like me), it was well worth it. This was my last meal in Tokyo and I got the bluefin + wasabi pizza, which was so tasty and unique.

• Shokudo Endo for wild tuna bowls, Kyoto - I literally stumbled upon this place tucked away in Kyoto’s old town. It’s a mom and pop run spot where the ground floor is the restaurant and they live upstairs. They served an insanely fresh wild tuna chirashi bowl for only $11.

• Rokujuan, Kyoto - tik tok viral traditional tea room known for their beautiful transparent mochi dessert. This is a quick stop for me but a very picturesque and scenic tea room. Go for the vibes and the pretty dessert.

NOTE - try to ignore Google Reviews in Japan (for the most part). If something comes recommended and it has <4.5 stars, go there anyways. Locals don’t really use Google reviews to rate, and when they do, their rating system is different from the US. By default people rate establishments as 3+ star as “good” and hardly dish out 5 stars, hence why ratings might not reflect reality in Japan.

Shopping recs

Note: there are lots and lots of boutique, craft, or concept stores in Japan (like Issey Miyaki). I went to a ton of them, but did not purchase from most of these places (though they were nice to look at and take pics of). Below I’ve shared stores that I enjoyed actually purchasing from.

• Onitsuka Tiger NIPPON MADE - there are many onitsuka tiger shops but only a select few sell the shoes made in Japan (vs Vietnam). These are nearly double the price but higher quality. Still affordable at ~$130 for a pair of sneakers.

• Ragtag Thrift (multiple sites) - Thrifting in Japan is very much a thing since most stores keep their merchandise in top quality and their certification standards are high for designer purchases. I ended up thrifting a lot of secondhand clothing in Tokyo, and most of these I scored from RAGTAG, which has multiple locations. These stores are not designer-clothing heavy but they do resell solid Japanese brands that are high quality, and at very reasonable pricing (e.g. I bought 100% wool tailored pants for $12).

• Qoo Thrift - this was a popular store for designer bags, jewelry and watches. Their service was great and they do have a wide selection.

• BEAMS (multiple sites) - specialty gift store, nice to browse around and maybe buy a small gift.

• Tsubaki Do, ceramics, Kyoto - I stumbled upon this ceramics shop in Kyoto where they played jazz and had an insane collection of ceramics, all at very reasonable prices. This did not seem like a tourist trap. The owner travels around Japan and resells merch from local craft shops. I bought 2 sets of teaware + mugs from this shop and would have easily bought more if luggage wasn’t an issue. For ex, a handmade ceramic cup was $6-8 depending on style. If you’re going to Kyoto I recommend just saving your ceramics shopping for this location.

• Royce chocolate - these are my fav chocolates! They’re from Japan and are sold in various shops, go get ‘em since they’re 1/2 to 1/3 of the price there.

• Converse White Atelier - make your own converse sneakers that you can engrave :) Fun, semi-affordable activity at ~$70 per pair.

Practical tips

• Take cash with you — a lot of smaller shops and temples are cash only. I would say ~10% of the time I had to pay with cash.

• Load your suica card onto Apple Pay - suica is the MTA card equivalent for Japan and you can load it on your Apple Pay wallet for convenience. Take the 5 minutes to do this properly so the rest of your commuting is easy.

• Get to train stations early (at least 20 min) for bullet train rides - Don’t be like me and mad rush to the station to hop on to the bullet train at the very last minute. While I ultimately never missed a train, I could sense that the Japanese aren’t really empathetic to tourists who missed their trains and you’ll likely need to repurchase tickets.

• Bring layered outfits - December in Japan was relatively pleasant! Weather was in the high 40’s to low 60’s, so pack a wardrobe that allows you to layer and no need to pack heavy jackets.

Hopefully reading this gets you pumped for Japan :) Finally, I do have a Gmaps list of all of my saved places in Japan (compiled from recs from friends/the internet and places I walked past). While I can’t vouch for all of them, they made it to my list for a reason! Happy traveling.

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Last month I turned 30. People asked me how I felt but I hadn’t processed it then so I was unsurprisingly nonchalant. The reality was that life was going at 2x speed — my preferred speed — and I didn’t have time to reflect. Now sitting on an 18 hr flight to Singapore (in true Raisa fashion), I’m finally forced to reflect on the past 30 years and the highs and lows that came with it. Here are my 5 top reflections:

1. I resented my upbringing but I’m thankful for it.

   I grew up in the NYC projects, but you won’t catch me rapping about it. When you’re a child feeling psychologically and physically unsafe on a daily basis, you are bound to develop a hunger that will fuel the rest of your life’s ambitions (whether you actually make something from that is another story). I couldn’t tell what was worse: the piss in the elevator (and questioning whether it was human or dog), having the piss-filled elevator break so you had to walk down some very shady stairs, the roach infestation, the speed walking from the entry of the complex to your unit, fireworks vs gunshots, aggressive pit bulls, or the embarrassment when you’re dropped off by the school bus (so you ask to be dropped off 2 blocks from home). Yet without the drive to get as far away from that as I can, I wouldn’t be on my flight to Singapore. So thank you Astoria Housing for giving me grit, resilience, and of course, attitude.

2. Being my biggest advocate led to becoming a self made millionaire before 30.

   On the uber to JFK, my Pakistani uber driver asked me if I knew what my name meant.

   “Yes, it means female boss/female leader.”

   “Yes, but also in Urdu, rais means a wealthy person, so raisa is a wealthy female” he added.

   I smiled and thought about reflection #1 before saying “I believe that a name bears a lot of significance to the person”.

   I had my first job at 14, and worked retail through high school and college. I managed college with financial aid, scholarships, and multiple jobs and internships, graduating with 0 debt. This required discipline during what would typically be your most reckless years: I was at the financial aid office weekly, pinning down posters of scholarship applications and shooting my shot. I didn’t just wait for someone to hand me a scholarship. I skipped campus parties to became a RA for free room and board. Majoring in finance was very deliberate — I needed a high paying job with minimum upfront investment. College was mostly a boring blur, but the 0 debt put me a step ahead of my peers.

   When I joined JP Morgan, a colleague and I were jointly asked which of two projects we wanted to work on. Immediately my hand went up for the most challenging/rewarding project, and my shy colleague suggested she’d be open to either.

   That initial project eventually set me up for Stripe, where, since joining 6 years ago, I was able to more than 5x my total income. I focused on giving my best at my current job and managers of higher paying teams noticed. When offered mobility opps, I negotiated terms to not down level (peers were accepting down levels). With every new manager convo I was upfront that I like to be rewarded financially. I was consistently explicit with managers on where I wanted to land for talent reviews and I was vocal with them when I felt like I was underpaid relative to peers.

   You can call it sharp elbows, I call it self advocacy.

2. I sometimes wish I didn’t go so far with parenting my parents.

   Most immigrant kids can relate to parenting their parents. By default you have to extend yourself where language is a barrier. It goes from helping them with job applications when you’re a kid to helping them buy a house when you’re old enough to understand basic finance.

   Growing up this felt like the norm for me and my friends; I was booking my mom’s doc appts, writing important emails for her work, managing her finances, etc. I had even extended myself to parenting my autistic brother in some ways — I was managing his disability services, applying to private schools for him, etc. It wasn’t until much later that I realized you could come from a 1st gen family and not have to do all of that. Having brown friends whose parents pay for their vacations was a recent development.

   By then I was in too deep, renovating my mother’s first house (that I helped her find and buy), managing 80% of my brother’s services, playing therapist for both parents and absorbing a lot of their tension, all the while getting by with my own personal life. It got to the point where I was clearly filling role gaps for my parents, and was no longer just their daughter Raisa. I was my mother’s husband in many ways, and the rest of my father’s kids.

   Admittedly I continue to operate this way, though I wish I drew firmer boundaries and pulled the crutches off from them. The other day, after weeks of ignoring my mom’s complaint about the boiler, she finally replaced the boiler filter herself. I’ll take those small wins.

4. Find your definition of a good marriage before you get married.

   That’s exactly what I didn’t do before YOLO’ing my 23 year old self into marriage. I got married after 2 years of a long distance transatlantic relationship. No desi parents were pressuring me to marry — in fact quite the opposite. But I was tired of the challenges with a long distance relationship and committed to making it domestic, vis a vis the fiance visa.

   What I hadn’t anticipated after a simple city hall ceremony (I wasn’t going to ask my parents to pay for my wedding) was how much I would change in my 20s, and how my definition of a good marriage would change with that. I became the confident, social butterfly, good daughter, financially independent, corporate baddie that I am in my married years (my husband will claim credit).

   In many ways I focused on becoming me than becoming a wife, and while it was the right trade off, it did mean marriage for the first few years was jarring. I entered marriage without a sense of what a good marriage looked like. Between having divorced parents, abusive romances, and a toxic family, there wasn’t much to model after. This meant I constantly questioned where I was becoming too tolerant of things that bothered me (would I have walked off if we were just dating?) versus too demanding. And as I became more successful in my career, I increasingly became more independent, changing what I needed from a life partner.

   I’m now at a place where I finally feel like I’m figuring out the inner workings of marriage and what “good” looks like for us. In retrospect I wish I was more thoughtful and slow upfront, and I gave myself the space and grace to become the woman that I am without the competing demands of marriage. Needless to say, I won’t be pressuring my future children to get married by a certain age.

5. The slightest difference in attitude is what saved me from major mental health pitfalls.

   I am no stranger to mental health issues. My brother is severely autistic, both parents have disorders, and my husband battled anxiety for years. I also had adversities that could have claimed my mental wellbeing (e.g. getting robbed at gunpoint), but I didn’t let it. A part of me thinks that’s my biological survival instinct. In college, rather than feeling overly stressed while I was in an abusive relationship, I broke out in shingles — a sign from my body that I had to end my relationship before it got to the rest of me.

   Setting aside the biological component, I do prioritize my mental health significantly. This doesn’t need to translate to therapy, massages, or vacations. I take work breaks when my body tells me I need one rather than following a strict 9-6 schedule, I’m an extrovert and optimize my social time, I trust that God is protecting me (this helps especially in short term anxiety inducing moments), and I sleep 8 hrs a day normally. It’s the slightest difference in attitude and lifestyle that has helped me avoid these pitfalls.

To overly generalize: my 20’s were a major inflection point for me — I had officially moved out from the projects, got married, helped my fam move out and buy a house, and hit a major career promotion as Product Lead (months before I turned 30!). And without burning out!

For my 30’s I’m wishing for health, a growing family, and stability. “No more nomading!” I say as I’m off to Asia for 1 month. As I reflect and scroll through photos of my bday celebrations, I’m reminded of the love I have in my corner. People from all walks of life — middle school, high school, college, work etc came out to celebrate life with me. And for that I’m forever grateful <3.

As a Native New Yorker, it’s slightly controversial to say that London is my favorite city to live in. I’ll eventually write a post on NYC vs London but the short answer is — it’s a regal city lush with greenery, history, grand architecture, delicious food, and tons of things to do. And unlike NYC, you don’t have to drop $100 to enjoy a day out.

I’ve spent a LOT of time in London. It’s the first country I traveled to as a kid (I’m Bangladeshi and the Bengalis basically run East London), I would go back and forth during college when I was long distance dating my now-husband (who grew up in the UK), and we’ve had multiple month+ long stints in London in the past 4 years. I’ve been to London so much that UK Immigration once flipped through my passport and outright asked how I can afford so many flights here (how rude??). It just so happens that I’m here right now, as it’s warming up.

With this context, it’s no wonder that my first post is going to be a list of recs for London. Definitely bookmark this because her royal highness is done gate keeping ;)

Neighborhoods

London is a lot like LA in that it’s a city of 100 cities. It’s much bigger than NYC (but same-ish population) so there are a lot more areas to check out than the usual suspects of NYC.

I usually live in Notting Hill (in the Victorian flat that my husband and I renovated — more on that later) and work in Shoreditch when I go into Stripe’s London office, so my recs are pretty scattered on the map.

That being said, West London and the neighborhoods surrounding Hyde Park (Notting Hill, Paddington, Kensington, Marylebone, Mayfair, Knightsbridge) are the areas I’m most familiar. They’re also some of the most expensive real estate in London, and when you think of the historic Victorian townhouses that are so quintessential to London (equivalent of NYC brownstones), this is where you’ll see them in every turn.

Here are my thoughts on some popular neighborhoods to visit/stay in:

• Notting Hill - if Williamsburg and Soho (NYC) had a baby, it would be Notting Hill. Known for the Hugh Grant movie, the colorful pastel houses, and the Portobello Market, this is a very trendy and posh neighborhood. It wasn’t always posh, and used to be home to artists, the Portuguese, and Caribbeans (every year there is the Notting Hill Carnival, a nod to its Caribbean diaspora). I like that Notting Hill has a ton of food options that range from casual to fancy, and from different cultures. Queensway has amazing Chinese restaurants (Four Seasons, Royal China, Gold Mine), and Westbourne Grove has some solid Persian and Arab spots (Alounak, Sadafs) and there are a lot of Malaysian restaurants scattered around too (Normah’s, Med Sallah Kopitiam). I’m going to be biased and say this is my favorite neighborhood in London, so try to stay here if you can.

• Marylebone - pronounced “Mar-lee-bone”, this is a bougie neighborhood where a lot of the rich Arabs live. The Edgeware Road part of Marlyebone is lined up with Arab restaurants and hookah bars. I would recommend spending a weekend summer evening on Edgeware Road. More on the west-central side so easy to get around.

• Mayfair/Kensington/Knightsbridge - tbh I put these all in the same bucket. Super prime real estate, bougie shops (though High Street Kensington has a lot of mainstream shops), but not that exciting for food. Hotel prices will definitely reflect that.

• Paddington - a major transport hub, access to the Elizabeth line which is the best tube line, lots of chain hotels and very commercial. Not exciting to walk around in but very accessible to all the neighborhoods you’d want to visit. Not a bad place to stay in while traveling.

• Soho - prime, central London with an insane restaurant scene. A lot of my food recs will point you to Soho, and a lot of people tend to just link up in Soho because it’s in the middle and has a ton of options for everyone. Soho is very busy so it’s not my first choice to stay in.

• Shoreditch - very trendy/artsy neighborhood in East London which had a ton of gentrification/real estate investment. With its amazing food, nightlife, and proximity to Spitalfields Market, a ton of vintage shops, and Brick Lane (Little Bangladesh), I would highly recommend staying here. It’s very young and fun. This is basically the Williamsburg of London.

• Hackney - If Shoreditch is the Williamsburg of London, Hackney is the Bushwick. Next to Shoreditch, it has a great restaurant scene, hipster shops and breweries, but a little further East than I normally would like for housing.

Note: I don’t frequent North London as much (Angel, Islington, Kings Cross, Camden) but these are great neighborhoods to check out as well.

Food

Boy do I love to dine out in London. In fact I prefer London’s food scene to NYC because:

• Pricing is reasonable, especially since tax is included and most places don’t charge tip. Some fancier ones apply a discretionary 12.5% service charge. In general, the Brits are much more financially sensible than Americans and there are fewer places that charge rip-off prices. You can go to a nice Italian restaurant like Padella and pay £12 all-in for amazing pasta. This is common and not the exception, unlike NYC.

• Local produce is fresher and better quality. UK poultry, dairy, eggs > USA. I’ll eventually write a post on why, but trust me on this.

• The standard for aesthetics/vibes is generally higher. In general, even casual places will have a nice “vibe” and be enjoyable to sit in. Oh, and no rats. I can sit in a London patio in peace.

• Comparable, if not better in international cuisine. London is in the epicenter in the world, so it’s no surprise that I can find great Uzbek, French, and Ethiopian food in the same block. They’re also superior in Indian food…to the point that I don’t even bother eating Indian food in NYC (once you go London, you can’t go back).

Now with the negatives: IMO, NYC has better Mexican/Latin food and sushi (at least mid-range sushi). I wouldn’t really bother with these cuisines in London.

All this being said, here are my top recommendations for food (excl markets):

Indian and the likes

• Dishoom - this needs no intro and is hyped for good reason. Vibiest locations are Carnaby and Shoreditch.

• Hoppers - Sri Lankan

• Graam Bangla - if you’re in Brick Lane and overwhelmed with the bangla food options. Great duck curry.

• Kolapata - solid Bangladeshi food near Brick Lane

• Tayaab’s - classic Pakistani fare in East London as well.

• Fatt Pundit - fusion Indochinese food

• Tavah - OK this is a little north from London (in St. Albans), but it’s a literal hole in the wall that serves the best Pakistani food that my husband (Pakistani) and I have had. Go here if you have a car and are on your way to Cambridge.

• Ambala Sweets - chain that does excellent mithai/mishti (desi sweets).

East Asian

• BAO - amazing non-traditional baos (e.g. fried chicken bao, ice cream bao)

• Som saa and Smoking Goat - both in Shoreditch, both amazing Thai food.

• Rosa’s - casual and reliable Thai chain.

• Four Seasons (Baywater) - Chinese restaurant known for its roast duck and rice. This is the dish that I literally crave when I’m back home in NYC and is one of the first dishes I get when I’m back in London. It’s that good.

• Royal China - dim sum

• Normah’s - hands down the best Malaysian food I’ve had, cooked by grandma Normah herself in a hole in the wall.

• Ivy Asia in St Pauls - tbh food is average (but good) here, but come for the insane interior design and for the lunch set menu which is pretty affordable. Nice place to go to dress up and take pics without breaking the bank.

Mediterranean

• Alounak - amazing Persian restaurant with a traditional stone oven for fresh bread.

• Berber & Q - located by the canal side in Hagerston, solid spot.

• Honey & Smoke

• The Barbary

Brunch/bakeries

• Buns from Home - incredible morning buns that you can smell a block away.

• Beam - vibey mediterranean brunch spot with dishes like turkish eggs.

• Darcie May & Green - aussie brunch on a boat in Paddington canal.

• Grangers - popular and vibey aussie brunch spot in Notting Hill.

• Berner’s Tavern - tbh eat a light breakfast here but come for the insane Victorian architecture and 20+ foot ceilings. Very uniquely British.

• Linnaen - beauty salon and cafe hybrid in Vauxhall (south London). Very Scandinavian aesthetic.

• Friends of Ours

British/European

• Padella - homemade pastas at an affordable price point.

• Gloria’s / Circulo Poppalare - these spots and their sister restaurants are very ornate Italian restaurants with decent and reasonably priced Italian food. Feels fancier than it is.

• Patty & bun - solid fast casual burger chain

• Flatiron - solid fast casual steak chain and they give you free ice cream at the end

• Poppy’s or Hobson’s - both are great spots for fish and chips. Poppy’s is a bigger chain.

• Sessions Arts Club - food is good (but not amazing) but come for the beautiful interior and go for the weekday lunch special.

Latin

• Arepa & Co - also in Hagerston by the canal.

• Pachamama East - Peruvian in Shoreditch.

Things to do/see

Markets

Similar to Spain, London has a thriving market scene. I love to use a weekend day to go market/stall hopping and graze on food rather than having sit-down meals. It’s also a great place to pick up small gifts. Here are some of my faves:

• Camden Market - correction: this is a village, not a market. It’s the biggest market I’ve been to in London and has the best food options IMO (lots of solid Asian spots), along with some cool clothing shops.

• Portabello Market - slightly biased since it is in Notting Hill and I frequent this the most. This outdoor market spans over Portabello Road (famously littered with antique and fur shops) and has vendors selling trendy Notting Hill tote bags, the cutest cat-lover pillow cases, fruits & veggies, vintage/thrift clothes, etc.

• Spitalfields Market - in the heart of Shoreditch, this market has some solid food trucks but is mostly goods/clothing rather than food. However the neighborhood itself has a ton of solid food spots.

• Borough Market - food-lover’s market and easy to get to after a visit to the touristy sites (Big Ben, etc). Outside of the immediate market there are also some solid restaurants like Padella and BAO.

• Mercato Mayfair - this is a food market but TBH it’s not the best for food. I just really like the interior since it’s in a former church. It’s also one of the more affordable food options if you’re in Mayfair.

• Coal Drops Yard - recently developed open air shopping area/market in Kings Cross. Very clean and modern, with some niche shops and decent food options.

• Mare St. Market - small market in Hackney with a really fun vibe and good Italian restaurant inside.

Afternoon/cream tea

Do locals do *bougie* afternoon tea? Of course not. But I do recommend it at least once as a tourist since this is so uniquely UK. I personally haven’t been to many afternoon tea spots since once you visit one, you get the jist of it, and it is quite pricey for what it is.

If you’re doing afternoon tea, here are my tips:

• Come hungry, and stay for the full time. Afternoon tea in the fancy hotels/restaurants is expensive (typically ranges from £75 - £95 pp). You’ll be presented an assortment of sandwiches, scones, and small desserts. Each sitting is 2-3 hrs and some of these places do unlimited sandwiches and teas (like the Landmark or Sketch). So try to get the best ROI. If you’re doing afternoon tea, you probably want to skip breakfast and have a light dinner.

• Dress cute and check the dress code. Part of the afternoon tea XP is the photo opp, so make sure you dress for it. Some of these places have strict dress codes. I’ve had friends get denied at the Ritz for wearing sneakers. Even Sam Altman didn’t get special treatment.

• Tell them of dietary restrictions ahead of time. You best believe the top spots will accommodate to dietary restrictions. For my Muslim readers, many of them will serve Halal as well.

In London I’ve been to The Landmark and Sketch for afternoon tea. I really enjoyed my experience at The Landmark. Sketch — not as much. Quality of food was inferior to Landmark and service was not as great (it’s a much bigger dining area and more popular because of Sketch’s whimsical interior).

Setting afternoon tea aside, what I would strongly recommend as a hack/better alternative is cream tea. Cream tea is casual-a-la-carte afternoon tea. Most places that do afternoon tea also just serve tea and desserts/scone in a regular menu. This is much more affordable/accessible and honestly better for your body. Here’s where I recommend for cream tea:

• Sketch - yes, skip the afternoon tea at Sketch because what really matters is you just having a seat in the Sketch, so you can explore the building and its famous bathroom. They do cream tea daily from 4:30 - 6:30 and they do walk-ins/reservations for cream tea (I recommend reserving). You’ll probably pay £15 vs £75 for the same access.

• Candella Tea Room - very cute tea room in Kensington that gives grandma’s house vibes. They’re so popular that you’ll need to reserve weeks ahead.

• Petersham’s Nursery - a bit further west in Richmond is a gorgeous nursery/greenhouse that has a tea house and a restaurant. It’s about an hr commute but highly recommend.

• Clifton’s Nursery - if you can’t get to Peterhsam’s, Clifton’s is another nursery alternative that is in Maida Vale (West London) and has a cute cafe that does cream tea.

• The Orangery in Hampton Court Palace - further west in London but a very beautiful setting (see more below).

Palaces, parks, gardens

Basically a list of “pretty places to walk around in”.

• Sky Garden - free observatory deck in the city center. It’s a little reminiscent of Singapore’s Gardens by the Bay Cloud Dome, but not as lush. Go here and be kinder to your wallet instead of booking a dining table at the Shard. You’ll need to make a reservation at least a few weeks in advance since tickets get booked fast. Walk-ins are available but don’t expect to walk in during busy hours.

• Hyde Park / Regents Park - both gorgeous, significantly better than Central Park, and central-ish in London. Rent a Santander city bike and bike around, kayak, or picnic (sandwiches from Tesco’s will do just fine). If you visit Hyde Park, I recommend walking through Princess Diana Memorial Garden (by Kensington Palace), which is very pretty, and Billionaires Row, which is the street behind Hyde Park that has national embassies and privately owned mansions.

• Hampton Court Palace - this is harder to get to by train since it’s pretty west, but it’s a gorgeous palace grounds abundant with gardens and has a nice cafe (The Oranger) for lunch or cream tea.

• Richmond Park - if you’re going all the way west to HCP, then I recommend also visiting Richmond Park. This is a huge park with wild deer roaming around. Not as abundant like Nara, but still very cool to walk around in. For any equestrian lovers, there are some companies like Stag Lodge Stables that do horse rides through Richmond Park.

• St. Dunstan’s Church - enchanting church grounds in the city center, nearby Sky Garden.

• National Trust sites - if you’re looking for more parks/palaces/gardens, I recommend checking the National Trust website for a list of places in/around London that are maintained by this entity.

Museums

Most museums in London are free so definitely take advantage of that. South Kensington is home to some of the top museums. Natural History, V&A, and Design Museum are my personal faves.

Events

• Sofar Sounds - Sofar Sounds is an international “secret intimate concert” company that is live in dozens of cities. It’s one of my favorite things to do when I’m traveling and they happen to have multiple events in London per week.

• Candlelight Concerts by Fever - similar concept to Sofar Sounds, but they do intimate instrumental performances in various venues in a candlelit setting. I went to one in London in Southwark Cathedral and it was awesome.

• Top Secret Comedy Club - highly rated comedy show in Soho. I’ve been twice and think it’s hit or miss but tickets are cheap so low risk in trying.

• Look out for concerts in the O2 Stadium, Koko (Camden), or some other music venue.

Other

• Design District - based in Greenwich (southeast London), this is a recent development of architecturally “out there” buildings that are home to art galleries/shops, hipster studios, and the like. I bought a cute leather tote bag from a leather studio there for £60 (and they engraved it for free!). Even if you’re not shopping, I highly recommend for strolling around / pics.

• Somerset House - historic public complex that is home to some art galleries and restaurants. Central and nice to stroll past. In the winter they open up an ice skating rink here.

• Electric Cinema - catch a movie at this historical theatre in Notting Hill where you can lie-flat or sit comfortably in cushioned armchairs and order food from the Electric Diner.

Shopping

• Bicester Village - an hr from London, near Oxford, is a bougie outdoor designer outlet and where I’ve gotten a lot of good deals from. You can either drive there or take a train from Marylebone (both take ~1 hr). Prob not worth going to unless you’re driving since the train tickets are ~£60 round trip (I don’t believe in spending that much to go to an outlet so you can “save” on designers). While there’s the typical Gucci & Prada there, I tend to shop at the All Saints (best ~affordableish~ leather jackets IMO), the White Company, and Burberry (I’ve seen significant markdown on jackets and bags).

• Burberry outlet in Hackney - if you can’t make the trip to Bicester but want Burberry, go here. The outlet is large and you can easily take the DLR (train) to Hackney to get there.

• The Box in Hackney - similar to 260Sample Sale in NYC, The Box is home to various sample sales and is right by the Burberry Outlet. Follow their IG to see what sales are going on.

• APC Surplus - if you like APC, this is an outlet in Borough Market (easy to get to).

• Thrift / Vintage shopping - I highly recommend London for thrifts/vintage. 80% of my own thrift finds are from London, and I think pricing is a lot more reasonable than the shops in NYC (and for higher quality stuff). Here are some of my favorites (pro tip: always haggle):

  • Brick Lane Vintage - a gigantic vintage market in the basement of a building in Brick Lane. You will be overwhelmed by all the choices here. I’ve thrifted some solid and reasonably price jackets/blazers here. A must go for any vintage lover.

  • ATIKA Shoreditch - nearby Brick Lane and also a massive selection. Prices were a little pricey for what they were selling TBH, but this is cool to walk around in even if you don’t end up buying.

  • GOOD thrift chain - this chain curates their own thrift selection and I like their style/choices/pricing. I’ve only visited the Kensington and Notting Hill locations but this is probably where I’ve shopped the most given proximity.

  • Royal Trinity Hospice - similar to GOOD, their Notting Hill and Kensington locations have a great curation and pricing is reasonable.

• Boots - chain of drugstores which is where I buy most of my daily use makeup from TBH. High quality makeup, low quality prices…you know I love a good deal.

• Waitrose - this is my favorite supermarket in London and the reason why Whole Foods didn’t win London. High quality food, affordable IMO (compared to Whole Foods NYC lol), and I love to shop their promos and try new things through deals. Go here for foods you want to bring back to the States, or if you’re cooking while traveling.

• Desi clothes / jewelry - Green St and Ilford are the areas you want to go for desi girl shopping. Bee’s is great for fashion jewelry, and there are a lot of nice shops for clothing. I also like going to Khaadi for more casual desi attire.

• Things to bring back to the US - TBH this is just my personal list of things I bring back, feel free to use for inspiration.

  • Heinz Baked Beans

  • Milkyway Magic Stars chocolate

  • Cadbury chocolate

  • Waitrose spices - they’re good quality, cheaper than NYC, and the packaging is cute. Don’t judge!

  • Boots face wax strips - this saves me so much $ from threading upper lip and are so safe to use and cheap.

  • Teas - Fortnum & Mason, other local brands, even brands from Waitrose are solid choices. If you’re into masala chai, I would highly recommend “Tea India Masala Chai” tea bags. It’s my hack to making masala chai that tastes like it was made from scratch.

  • Loreal TrueMatch foundation - this is my holy grail for foundation and very affordable. It’s the only foundation I use.

OK WOW you made it to the end! I hope this inspires you to go see London. Let me know in the comments if you “fancied” any of these recs or have suggestions for me to check out.

I’m an ESTJ, execution-forward woman who gets an adrenaline rush from knocking out Google Tasks. And while I always knew I wanted to get back into the habit of blogging, I had “start blog” sitting in my backlog for years. I haven’t fully reconciled on why it’s took so long to pick up the pen again, even if it’s just a post every few weeks.

In fact, pushing long form thoughts out on a public canvass was something I regularly did as a teenager back in the Tumblr times of 2010’s. And I know I eventually want to write a memoir as a way to reflect on the crazy life I’m living (and hopefully inspire others). Blogging in a more stable late 20’s era seems like the right next step to make progress on this life goal of mine.

In 2022 I took a first major step by jotting a list of things I wanted to write and share knowledge on. Nearly 2 years later, and I’m slouching on my sofa in London on a Sunday night, publishing my first blogpost since 10 years.

I thought about how I want to ease into blogging. I’ll probably start with travel itineraries and recs from my accumulation of personal and work travel (which really accelerated during the pandemic, surprisingly). I’ll then work my way up to “life hacks and knowledge” — more general advice on how I approach doing XYZ. And if I end up finding the appetite, the audience, or even the words, I’ll evolve to writing about deeply personal but important moments in my life that have shaped/continue to shape me (the “what actually motivates me to grind” kind of posts).

Baby steps, but I’m getting there.